Key Takeaways
- →Replace "someday" with "today"—take one voluntary action toward your goal despite fear.
- →Stress enhances performance when you believe it makes you stronger, not weaker.
- →Plan tonight, attack tomorrow—do the hardest thing first when willpower peaks.
Listen to the audio version of the podcast on Apple or Spotify.
Most people think the goal of life is to finally get comfortable.
To make enough money, get the right job, and build the right life so you can finally stop struggling.
It's a lie. And it's making you miserable.
I sat down with Jill Schulman—former Marine Corps Officer, Master of Positive Psychology from UPenn, and author of The Bravery Effect. She studies the science of human performance, and her research points to one undeniable truth:
We thrive when we're striving.
When you choose the path of least resistance, when you push the laundry to the other side of the bed instead of folding it, when you don't ask for the promotion, when you say you'll start "someday," you aren't protecting yourself.
You're slowly eroding your self-respect.
Here is how to flip the script and start attacking the day.
Connect with Jill Schulman
Jill's Website & Bravery Assessment: jillschulman.com
Jill's Book: The Bravery Effect: https://amzn.to/4d8X8fY
The "Someday" Trap
Dr. Daniel Kahneman's research shows we are twice as motivated to avoid what we fear than to move toward what we want.
Read that again. Your brain is literally wired to keep you safe, not to make you successful.
When you feel that micro-tension—the hesitation before sending an email, the dread before a hard conversation—that isn't a sign to stop. That's your evolutionary biology trying to keep you in the cave.
Jill calls "someday" the most dangerous word in the English language. It's the ultimate snooze button on your life. The fix? Replace "someday" with "today." Take one voluntary action in the presence of fear toward a worthwhile goal.
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The Stress-Enhancing Mindset
We've been sold a bill of goods that stress is a killer.
Jill brought up a fascinating study by Dr. Alia Crum at Stanford. They went into a high-stress Wall Street firm and showed half the employees a 3-minute video explaining that stress is actually enhancing—that it makes you sharper, faster, and more resilient.
The result? The group that watched the video didn't just report higher job satisfaction. They had statistically significant improvements in performance, higher levels of DHEA (a resilience hormone), and lower blood pressure.
Your belief about stress dictates how your body processes it. If you believe stress is a workout for your brain, your body responds by getting stronger.
Attack the Day
Motivation is overrated. If you wait until you "feel" like doing the hard thing, you'll be waiting forever.
Instead, steal a tactic from the Marine Corps:
Plan the night before. Your willpower battery is full in the morning. Don't waste it deciding what to do.
Pre-load the pain. Do the hardest, most uncomfortable thing first.
Consult your future self. Ask, "What does my 6:00 PM self want me to do right now to feel proud?"
Bravery isn't the absence of fear. Michael Jordan felt fear. Aaron Judge feels fear. I've done over 425 keynotes, and I feel fear every single time I walk on stage.
The difference is choosing to act anyway.
Stop running from the friction.
Go looking for the fight.
This is the way.
Hanley