I showed up. What happened next changed everything...

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What is up, guys? We have a very unique episode for you today. I had backstage kind of VIP access to an event last week run by a buddy of mine, Mick Hunt. And that allowed me to spend time with Damon John, Les Brown, Chris Voss, among many others. And on the way home from that event, I recorded into an Instagram Live my biggest takeaways.

And what I wanted to do was share with you those takeaways here on the podcast, because what ended up coming out the other side, I thought, was while stream of consciousness, a kind of breakdown of what it means to actually be successful when you go behind the curtain, right? There's advice that's given to the audience, and there is what's talked about behind the curtain back in the green room before these individuals go on stage. And I wanted to give that to you as I was there interacting with them, talking about my own business, sharing ideas. It was absolutely incredible. Huge props for Mick Hunt and his Lead Loud series.

So the visual here is going to be less than quality, but you can, you know, there is a visual. But what I hope, even if you're watching on YouTube, is that you take away the audio and the major message from this episode. Guys, I love you for being here. I appreciate you for being here. And if you enjoy these kind of stream of consciousness type episodes, the best way to get more of them is to follow me on Instagram.

I have a link below. I do a live about twice a week now. I just pop on a live. It's usually in the evening, talk through a major idea, something that I worked with a client or something that happened in my company, Linkora. And we kind of break those concepts down live, answer questions, Q&A.

If you enjoy that format, head over to Instagram. And then versions of that that end up coming out in a way that I think works for you here on the show. I'm going to post for the podcast. So love you for being here. With that, I'm going to get out.

And again, I apologize for the visuals. If you're watching on YouTube, if it offends you so much, scroll down. There'll be a link. You can catch the episode via all the audio podcast platforms as well. All right.

I'm out of here. I'll catch you on the flip side. Peace. What is up, guys? I am driving from Greenville, South Carolina back to Charleston.

I was just in Greenville for the very first time. Absolutely lovely town. Love the South. Just nice people, beautiful, friendly. You're walking down the street.

People are passing you, making eye contact, saying hello. How are you? Random people you're never going to see again. It's just wonderful. The South is so much different than the North.

But Greenville is wonderful. So why was I in Greenville? Every year, I go to Charleston because my father has a condo in the outside of Charleston area. And I bring my boys down and we do like a nice little week in the beach and all this kind of stuff. My buddy Mick Hunt, infamous producer of the Mick Unplugged podcast, had his Lead Loud Leadership Series event in Greenville.

Greenville is about three hours from Charleston. And because I was going to be down here and the event date was the same week as I was going to be down here, I decided to swing over for a day and a half to spend time with some of my friends and be part of this series, which was absolutely phenomenal. Mick puts on a hell of a show. Mick's network is so dialed. The people that he had there were incredible.

Chris Voss, Nick Nan, Les Brown, Damon John. Just wonderful. And more and so many more. Just a wonderful, wonderful lineup of people who just really push the boundaries. It got me thinking about so much of what I do every day, how we show up in the world, how we want to show up, who we show up for.

Really important. And I got to spend time with a few friends that, you know, you just don't spend enough time with people. You know, they live in other places. They don't live near you. And, you know, Chris Paradiso, Darren Ramos, Taryn Moore.

Meet some new friends that I, you know, hadn't ever met before. Incredible people. And so it was worth the trip. Wonderful time. And I just wanted to share some of the things that I took away from this event that I thought were really important.

I'm not going to spend too much time looking at the camera. So if you guys want to ask questions or whatever, like I'm driving, so it would be inappropriate for me to be staring at the camera. I got to keep my eyes on the road. So I'm not going to spend really, I'm not going to look at the comments or whatever. I'll answer whatever questions you have maybe on a future live or I'll look through any comments.

So if you have any questions, comments, whatever, leave them. I'll get to them after. But just for versus the safety and the fact that it would be completely irresponsible for me to be staring at my phone while driving, I'm not going to look at the phone. I'm just going to kind of keep driving. But I want to share with you guys and mostly for myself.

So this is a very selfish live that I'm doing right now. I'm just sitting in the car by myself. I got two and a half hours ahead of me. And I just couldn't get some of these thoughts out of my head. And I figured if it can help any of you guys, get you guys thinking that's wonderful.

But mostly I just wanted to capture it for myself before I lost it. The first thing that I was how important it is to show up, right? My friend, my very good friend, Mick Hahn, is doing an event. If I did not show up and would he still be my buddy? Yes, he would.

I'm in South Carolina, and it just so happens that he's having an event in South Carolina, where he lives, but in South Carolina, the same week that I'm going to be in South Carolina. And for any of you watching who don't know, I live in New York. It's important to show up for your friends. It's important to show up. People give lip service to being friends, being buddies, being bros, bras, whatever you call each other.

But who shows up? And look, I'm not always the best. I try the best I can. I try to show up as much as I can, and no one's perfect at this, right? I got two young kids.

I got obligations. I got things that I got to do. I got my own business that I have to run. And it's not, we can't show up for everything. But when you can, you need to show up as often as you possibly can for the people that matter to you, for the relationships that matter to you.

And this is something that I think I need to get better at. I can easily get lost in my own work in particular, in my own life for sure. Excuse away different things that I feel like I should be going to, people who I should be supporting because I'm busy or the kid's got something, whatever. And I think we all have to look in the mirror and ask ourselves, do you want that person to show up for you? And if the answer is no, then you shouldn't even be considering it.

If you don't wouldn't care if that person showed up for you, then don't even think about it. Hell yes or no, right? But if it would matter to you that that person showed up for you, you need to show the fuck up for them. Or you shouldn't or you do not deserve to be bothered when they don't, right? We all want people to show up for our shit, but then we never want to make the time.

And while I don't, while I wouldn't love to think that I'm that kind of person, I think it's important to look in the mirror and make sure that if that's who you want to be, the kind of person who shows up as often as you can, you need to do that. Even if it's inconvenient, even if it is a three hour and 15 minute drive across a state that you don't know anything about that away from your family, because your buddy's putting on an event and it's important to him and it's a wonderful event. Even if they would still be your buddy if you didn't show up, showing up matters. Showing up matters a lot more than I think we give it credit for. I know for a long time, I probably didn't give showing up enough credit, but at 44 going on 45, looking at the relationships in my own life that matter, looking at the type of life that I want to live moving forward, I just, I look at the idea, I look at showing up and I just say, this is probably one of the more important aspects of fulfillment, purpose, satisfaction, connection.

You know, all we really have are our experiences and our relationships. All the shit you have, your car, your house, fancy watches, those are great. I love all those things. Don't get me wrong. I love them.

I drove a big ass Tahoe. I fucking love it. I love my house. I gutted it and redid the inside. It's beautiful.

It's unique. It's me. It's mine. No one else has the house that I have and I love it. I have a nice watch on.

I think it's beautiful. I love wearing it. But none of that shit matters. Like in the end, when you're right, it's your relationships, the connections you have, and it's the experiences that you share with those people. And I think that we often give lip service to showing up and we don't execute on it.

And if I took anything away from the last, I hear for 36 hours, it's that showing up is incredibly important. Incredibly important. Because you just, I won't forget the laughs. I won't forget the stories. I won't forget the little one liners or just the emotions associated.

Even if I do forget the one liners, I won't forget the emotions that I felt. I won't forget literally having tears streaming down my face listening to Les Brown talk about what it means to be hungry and his why and how that drove him to be the success that Les Brown was, is, is. It was incredible to hear one of the greatest storytellers to ever walk the earth, to be 15 feet away from that man and to literally have tears coming down my face because not just his story, the way his story made me feel about my own life and the life that I want to live. Fuck. Never.

If I'm not here, we will all have that experience for the rest of our lives that we shared that moment listening to Les Brown for more than an hour just- I'm here on the job site with Dale, who's a framing contractor. Hey, good morning. Dale traded up to GEICO Commercial Auto Insurance for all his business vehicles. We're here where he needs us most. Yep, they sure are.

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Just do, I mean, he was as good as Les Brown is. He was fucking phenomenal today. And I've heard Les Brown before and he was just incredible today. Incredible. You never get that experience back.

And I want to be the type of person that shows up. I know that people would classify me that way today. I would hope so. That's something that I'm going to cultivate in my own life is be more of the person who shows up, shows up for my kids, shows up for the people that matter that are in my inner circle, that when they need me, they know I'm a text message or a phone call away and I'll fucking be there. Characteristic of a human being that I feel is worthy of our time and our attention and our focus to be the kind of person who shows up because it's not always convenient and it's hard and it's expensive.

I mean, all told, getting here, the ticket, you know, hotel room, food, $1,500, $2,000. I mean, not nothing. But here I am with this thought in my head that I can't get rid of and this outlook on where I want my life to go and a notebook full of thoughts and ideas and connections and experiences with people that I'll never forget. I would pay way more than $2,000 for that. So, you know, but you're rolling the dice.

And the truth is you're always rolling the dice when you show up. You could show up for someone and it could be terrible. You know, the event could be terrible. The people could be terrible. It could be a war.

But that's not the point. You don't show up for you. You show up for them. Right? You don't show up for you.

You show up for them. And that's got to be good enough. And everything that you get out of it is bonus. It's gravy. It's frosting.

It's the gloss. Everything that you get out of showing up is the bonus. You show up for them. You show up to make sure that your buddy's got his people in the room. You show up to make sure that the people who are important to you feel supported, that they feel protected, that they feel safe, that they feel strong and confident, that they feel like they got people who got them.

Because when you know you got people who got you, you can go out and do the things. You can take the risks that you want to take in life that create purpose and meaning and satisfaction and fulfillment. Very difficult to do that without people around you. So first biggest takeaway that I had was the importance of showing up. The second biggest takeaway that I had was from Chris Voss.

Chris Voss is the author of Never Split the Difference. He's formerly the head of FBI international, the head, the lead kidnapping negotiator for the FBI for international kidnappings, which is a pretty big job. Also worked in New York City counterterrorism and kidnapping negotiation, terrorist negotiation in partnership with the NYPD. But I'd say, you know, publicly he will be most famous for his book, Never Split the Difference and the work that he does in negotiation. And while his trainings are just hands down the best, he is the best.

If you haven't read Never Split the Difference and you're in business, you are less than you could be. I built my entire Master of the Close one-call close sales process that I use to scale rogue risk to 1,200 plus accounts, more than 2,000 policies in a little over two years. I built that entire process off of the teachings of Chris Voss. I've studied his work intensely. And while this is the first time I've ever seen him live, thoroughly impressed, just thoroughly, thoroughly impressed.

Fucking master. And, you know, of course, I mean, this dude who's, you know, speaking on stage to, you know, say 75 people is certainly not as pressure packed as negotiating the life of an American overseas who's been kidnapped. So obviously, you know, he's in, I don't want to say a comfort zone because I know he was delivering, you know, in a place where he could deliver. What I took away from Chris was an intentionality of effort and that if you want to be good at something, you must be intentional in your effort to achieve the thing. Talk about it.

You can pretend. Unless you are intentional, you have no control over your life. We must be intentional in our actions to our goals. Just I could go on and on on this. I don't want to beat it up.

Again, like I said, I appreciate anyone who's listening here. I'm meandering through this a little bit. Like I said, this is mostly for my own austerity as I'm driving and just hoping maybe it helps a couple of you guys. But Chris was incredibly intentional in his work and how he got to the, got to his philosophy that we should not work for yeses. We need to work for no's.

It's so counterintuitive to the way most people operate, but it is an absolute unlock to life. And single-handedly, I built the sales process that I coach, that I teach, that I built my company around. I built it off the back of his work, what he taught in Never Split the Difference in negotiation skills. And I applied it to an inbound sales process and it fucking raked. It was just, we were closing 85% of the inbound leads that came in the door.

You know, now I help people take reps that usually come in at around 20 to 30% close ratio. You know, within around three months of coaching and working this process and training, we can have people up over 60 at a minimum. You know, the ones that really apply it, stick to it and don't try to be cowboys and, you know, add their own ad lib ideas into the process are closing north of 80%. But it's intentional. It's very, very intentional.

It is not leaving... It, it's not leaving your success up to chance. It's, it's being intentional with the actions that drive growth, that drive success, and then being unapologetic about how you get there. The next thing I took away was from a guy named Nick Nan. Nick is a twenty-- I think he's had twenty-two Emmys for his documentaries.

Songwriter, incredibly creative dude, and seemingly very, very cool, interesting guy. And while I have literally, like, pages and pages of notes from his thirty-five-minute talk, it's crazy. He shared a quote from Sally Hobbs that, "Different is better than better." And if I had to surmise Nick's position on success, it was this idea of being different, not, not necessarily shooting for better, shooting for different. Different doesn't necessarily mean fake.

Like, I did a ChatGPT research study to figure out, you know, what, what Looney Tunes character I can create to fucking stand out. But, like, figuring out who you actually are. Like, like you were gifted by God with something. I think so few of us actually figure out what that thing is. But if you can figure it out, it's, it's intrinsically different than anyone else, and that intrinsic different will make you so special and so much better than better.

And I, I wish I wasn't quoting someone else that he quoted to talk about how wonderful I thought Nick's, uh, talk was. I thought it was phenomenal. Just, he was just tremendous. Um, I think to myself-- You know, I think about my own podcast right now. My podcast, I have a YouTube show, if you guys don't know.

Uh, you can go to the link in my bio, check it out. You know, we jump around in the rankings. We're consistently in the top ten in the business category on Apple for the US. You know, we jump around in the top ten of all cat-- It's a little crazy, a little different. I like to curse.

I love conspiracy theories. I'm a conservative. Love to bust chops. I'm sarcastic as fuck. Uh, I'm irreverent, and I, I like crude, crass humor.

Sex jokes are my favorite. I like all kinds of shit. I, I just, I just enjoy a random, widespread, broad smoke-- stroke, smattering of, of topics. I like aliens, and I like business, and I like politics, and I like archeology, and I like psychology, and I like math and physics and writing and philosophy. And I don't know what kind of fucking show can be successful that way, 'cause everyone tells me I'm supposed to stay right down some line and be the business guy and all this stuff.

And, you know, "Who do you think you are, Joe Rogan?" You know, and I get all that kind of shit, and I don't know. I'm not Joe Rogan. I'm certainly not Joe Rogan. I don't even pretend to be Joe Rogan.

But is there not space for another show that just talks about interesting shit? I don't know. I get bored talking about business all the time. I do. I love business.

I love sales. I like marketing. But I get bored talking about that stuff. Like... And, and I love leadership.

I really do. I love talking about leadership, and I love coaching leaders. I really do love coaching leaders and founders, and I do love that work, and I, I would hope to always do that work. I, I truly do love helping leaders who are driving forward, who are struggling, whether it's self-doubt, or they're stuck in growth, or their, their culture is messed up, or they're having issues with their board. I was talking to a founder the other day who was having some issues with his board and helping him through that.

And, and if you guys, guys, if you, if you need help with any of that stuff, I... My passion is helping people be the best versions of themselves. I just, I just love it. And if you need help, just DM me here on Instagram. Then, you know, if I, if I feel like I can actually help you through whatever you're dealing with, I will absolutely.

But, like, for the show, I just, I hate the idea of being pinned down on one fucking topic. I just hate it. And, like, I, I rebranded the show to Finding Peak because, uh, I didn't want it to be my name. But Finding Peak, it's open for a reason. It's not finding peak performance.

It's not finding peak leadership. It's not finding peak sales. It's not finding peak marketing. It's not finding peak fucking aliens or archeology or philosophy or whatever, for a reason. It's finding peak whatever is fucking interesting.

And that doesn't mean me. It means whoever is awesome at something or interested in something or talented at something, I just wanna talk to them and learn more about them, and I haven't done that. I've kind of played it safe. I've kept to the business vein because it's easier, and then people know what you're about, and they know what box to put you in, so it's easier then for them to subscribe. And I don't show my personality as much 'cause, oh, you know, if someone sees that you have a Trump sign in the background, then they're not gonna like your show.

Well, shit, uh, i-if you don't like me 'cause I voted for Trump for three times, I'm fucking sorry. You may wanna ask me why I did, and it may surprise you why I did, but I did. And if you don't like the fact that I have a Trump sign, I also have a fucking Wu-Tang sign. So I don't know. What does that mean?

I also have a number one dad sign that my kid got me, so... I guess I just am sick of, like, not being a hundred percent myself and, uh, Nick really, like, his talk really, like, punched me in the face with that. Like, really. I don't know how to turn that into a business, and if I'm gonna be the best version of myself, that needs to become a business. I gotta put some thought to that.

Maybe you guys could help me with that. Open to any ideas that you got. But Yeah, Nick really got me thinking. And then finally, uh, Les Brown's talk, and Les Brown is fucking icon. Oh my God, eighty years old, absolute legend, just up there just crushing.

For an hour plus, crushing, crushing. Just, ah, the dude's recall, his ability to weave narrative, to just own... Les isn't a perfect person. A Google search will show you all the shit that's gone on in his life, the good, the bad, the ugly. But you can't deny what he's accomplished, and you can't deny that the guy figured out what he was put here to do, and he owned it.

And there is something to be said for that. While I love what I do and I enjoy it, I don't know that it's why I was put here. I feel the most alive on stage. I feel the most alive when I'm in live scenarios like this. I love being interviewed or having live conversations where there's the danger of not being able to erase what you said, of having to deliver in real time, of having to search through the mental library, database, Rolodex, figure out how to deliver a message while people are watching, assuming you know what the fuck you're doing when a lot of times you don't.

That's when I feel the most alive. And I feel the most fulfilled when I see the look on someone's face that maybe something I said or maybe someone who I was interacting with, a guest, an interviewee, a host, says something because of a conversation that we were having that, that turns them on. That's when I feel the most fulfilled. It's a weird thing, guys, and if you're still with me, God bless you because this has been going on for a while and rambling, although therapeutic to a certain extent. So I appreciate you if you're still there.

I've always struggled from a career perspective in so much as I've never cared about my own success. A-and I'm not saying that to be humble. I, I honestly never have. I love to achieve, but not necessarily because of the accolades of others. I've-- I don't win a lot of awards.

I've never been on a top ten list of whatever. Not, you know, but-- And I don't care to be. I mean, if I am, amazing. I did win the InsurTech Utah Pitch Contest this year, startup pitch contest, which was fun. Um, that was kinda like taking candy from a baby.

I get the most fulfillment out of helping other people achieve their success. It's why I love coaching. God, if there's just one little thing that you can say to a kid that gets them to hit a baseball pure, and that look on their face when they're standing on, standing on first or second, and they just ripped one, right? They just smoked a ball to the outfield, and they felt what it feels like to hit a baseball pure. 'Cause so few people actually ever, uh, experience what that feels like. There are very few feelings in life like hitting a baseball pure.

And I've sacked quarterbacks. I've hit three-pointers at the buzzer. I've hit three hundred plus yard drives. I've knocked in putts. Done a lot of things.

There are few things in life like hitting a baseball pure, and if I can help that kid get that, man, I just, oh, it just feels so good. Not because of me. I don't, you know, I don't... It feels good because you look at their face and you're like, "Oh my God, look at the experience that kid was able to have." And the same thing with adults, right?

Like this guy that I was helping the other day with this board thing. He was struggling. He was having a real issue. Made a call in his business, and the board member had a problem with it and was pressing. And his initial imp- his initial feeling was that the board mem- that it would die down, and it just wasn't.

And it was starting to become an issue, and now that board member had started to make suggestions around the competency of this particular founder. And what I did was help the founder. I gave the founder a few tools that, that he could use in a conversation that he had coming up with this particular board member to try to squash this issue to get to what the actual problem was. 'Cause that was what he was struggling with. He's like, "I don't know how to attack this problem 'cause I, I can't figure out what the actual issue is." And a lot of it was just the way he was framing some questions and that he wasn't empathizing with this board member, right?

Like he, he couldn't put himself in the board member's pos-position. And I said, "Look, if you actually wanna squash this issue, you can't fight your side. You have to figure out how to put yourself in that board member's position and understand where he is coming from. Because if you can understand where he is coming from and emphat-empathize, sorry, with his position, then you will understand what his issues truly are and how you can address them and hopefully come to a very productive solution." And I gave him some questions to ask and a couple, you know, like essentially a mental model to work through and a way of trying to get him to sit in that seat.

Long story short, conversation, conversation went amazingly well, issue squashed, no problems, off they go. And when he-- And I-- You know, all I got was a text afterwards and that said, you know, "Thank you," but you know, whatever. "Thank you, uh, so much. You know, problem solved. All good."

You know, with like a couple fire emojis or something. Fuck, that just felt so good. Be able to help that guy, you know, take this incredible anxiety and stress that he was having because he was worried that this, this dude was going to like try to kick him out of the business because it was becoming a real problem. And once he finally got to the root of what the issue was and acknowledged that he thought the board members' concerns were relevant and real, but that he had considered, you know, blah, blah, blah, you know, specific to the thing, he was back off to the races and everyone was pointing in the same direction. And it just made me feel really good and fulfilled in that, in that conversation.

So, uh, I guess the long story short there, or long story long, since I've been yappering for a while, um, we're not driving very fast right now, guys, because, uh, there seems to be an accident or something. Um, so we're going very, very slow. We're technically doing two and a half miles an hour in a three-lane traffic somewhere between Greensville and Charleston. Um, I guess what I took away from Les was some soul searching around what I want the second half of my career to be. I enjoy what I do today.

Like I said, I love leading companies. I love helping people. But all I've ever really wanted to do was help people become the best versions of themselves. And I'm going to be working very hard from here on out to figure out the best way to do that. And if you have suggestions, I'm super open to them, open to them all.

Um, thought a lot about spending more time on YouTube, um, you know, really working on the YouTube show and really trying to deliver more authentic value in the way that I want to deliver it to a YouTube audience. Uh, I have the Stub Stack newsletter, which I love to write. Writing has always been a passion of mine, and I will probably continue to do that. And I actually have become more and more fond of this channel, of Instagram, uh, of, you know, of connecting with people and helping people. And, you know, I had a young guy reach out to me the other day and want some help with sales and sales training.

And, uh, you know, I don't know that I'm, uh, go- I, I don't, not sure yet whether I'm the right person to help him, but if not, I will make sure he finds somebody. And I love doing these lives, and I think the format of, I'm just not sure necessarily, you know, how to turn all these things into a business, uh, what the right way to deliver that is. Um, but I don't know. I appreciate you guys. Um, hopefully if you've stuck with me for any period of time throughout this, you've found some value in it.

Um, I, like I said, I wanted to capture these ideas. I'll probably export this video and transcribe it and put it into ChatGPT and get some notes out of it, uh, because it, because I've obviously been talking for a while. But, um, man, it just, I, and I know Mick probably won't watch this because I'm sure his attention span isn't as long as this, as I've been talking. But, uh, if you're not following Mick, uh, I think his handle here on Instagram is Mick Unplugged. Uh, follow Mick Hunt.

He's doing incredible work. And, and his podcast is wonderful. It, Mick's an incredible guy. But Mick is a super connector, and he, he puts people together that n- that, that need each other. And, um, if you're not in Mick's world, I encourage you to, uh, connect with him.

And if you're not connected with Chris Voss and Mick Nanton and, uh, Les Brown and, um, actually Damon John showed up at the event too. Uh, you know, Damon was great. Uh, he kind of came in at the end. Um, had some, had some really interesting things to say as well. Uh, I just think I'll kind of pull it all the way back to the beginning.

Uh, showing up. Just show up for the people that matter in your life. It doesn't have to be a lot of people. It can be one person. It could be your spouse, your partner.

It could be your, just your kids. It could be your best friend. It could be an old high school friend that fucking needs you right now for whatever reason. Just show up. God, the universe rewards people who show up.

I honestly believe that. I believe that s- I believe that there's a connective energy, and the universe is always watching. And I think the universe rewards people who show up, and I'm gonna try to be that person more often than I have been. And I don't know. I appreciate the hell out of you guys.

I hope this was valuable. Again, if you have questions, thoughts, comments on anything, please, uh, when I get to where I'm going, although it'll probably be late, so it probably will be tomorrow, I'll check them out, hit them up in the comments. If I can be of service to you, if you do need help, uh, with, you know, something that's going on, if you're stuck on revenue, if you're in a leadership position, uh, you're having trouble with culture, you're having trouble with, you know, sales or growth or internal issues, politics, if you're just fucking having a hard time, um, I've been through a lot of stuff. I've helped a lot of people, and I would like to do that more. So just hit me up in the DMs.

We can chat. And if I can be of service, I will be. All right? I appreciate the hell out of you guys. Uh, right now I'm listening to the Sean Ryan, uh, AJ Gentile, who does the, uh, uh, Y Files podcast.

Fucking phenomenal. So since we're doing two and a half miles an hour, and I got about another 200 miles to go, I'm gonna let you guys go. I love you. I'm out of here. Peace.

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